32 BBY, Kamino
|Chronological and political information|
Rise of the Empire Era
- "Come on Super Troopers! Let's Move!"
- – Blaster Niceshot
CC-12355, or Blaster Niceshot, was born on Kamino in 32 BBY.
The 53rd Attempt
"I really don't think this is a good idea!" yelled CC-12355 as his fellow cadets played dead in a Kamino training session. Nicknamed "Blaster" for having an excellent aim with a blaster pistol, he'd been wishing he was born a tactical officer rather than a clone soldier for the past few weeks. The cadet squad Blaster had been apart of was called the Shooter Squad, because, rather oddly, all of the clones in the squad had names that had something to do with a weapon. They failed exactly 53 times and were lucky not to have been made cleaning clones- not yet, at least. Bolt, Barrel, and Target were laying motionless on the hard gray floor and trying to make the droids stop firing, or at least distract them. While they did this, Blaster, Rifle, and Shooter were tasked with climbing up turrets and pulling a light out of its stand. Bolt divised this plan and invited himself to become the team leader. Unfortunately, to his confusion, the droids thought the clones laying on the floor had already been stunned and were firing at the others. The fact that the droids didn't fire at targets that seemingly were knocked out or stunned hadn't occured to him.
Now, Blaster and Rifle were running as fast as they possibly could towards the towering wall of turrets, since it was harder for the turrets to shoot them when they were against the wall than when they were running around the course. Shooter, who happened to be carrying a Rotary Blaster Cannon, decided that instead of dragging the heavy weapon and armor around, it would just be better to be stunned. He was already limping from a fall in their 52nd attempt, and this didn't help his situation.
"Shooter! Are you ok?!" Blaster called over to his fellow unconscious clone. He turned to Rifle. "We have to get him to a safe spot, or we'll fail again!"
"What about the others?" Rifle replied with a worried look. "They'll get stunned, too."
Bolt, Barrel, and Target were having problems of their own. They were no longer in their playing dead positions, and the droids were now firing at them, too. Bolt, looking over his shoulder, could tell that this wasn't going to end well.
"Barrel, Target! Get the cables off your belts and-"
The left wall of the training area exploded, and droids poured into the room.
Meanwhile, During the 53rd Attempt
Grievous gets a Bad Cold
Meanwhile, during the Shooter Squad's 53rd attempt, a massive droid fleet emerged from hyperspace around Kamino. It had been a few months since the droids had attacked Kamino last time, and General Grievous, who was determined the Republic would not win this time, had the unfortunate luck to catch a cold right in the middle of his glorious moment of heading to Kamino and fighting the Republic. He was coughing twice as much as normal.
"Commander, prepare *cough cough* to *cough* launch the *cough cough cough* assault," Grievous ordered a red-colored command B1 battle droid. This battle droid, who along with many other battle droids alike, was having a difficult time processing what his cyborg-general had said.
"Uh... yes sir," the battle droid replied, thinking Grievous had said, "Commander, prepare to launch the assault rocket into the command ship."
The battle droid began to run down the corridors and hallways of the Seperatist frigate towards the hanger bay, where the rocket was being stored. Grievous, whom had a headache on top of his cough, was a little confused on why the battle droid was leaving the bridge, but wasn't in the condition to think to stop him. So, the battle droid was running as fast as his metal legs could carry him, for Grievous had smashed many unfortunate battle droids who had not completed his orders "in time". Clank clank, clank clank clank, clank clank. When the droid reached the hanger bay, the rocket was put in place to fire at the Seperatist command ship.
"Three. Two. One. KABOOM!"
The rocket blasted off in one large explosive push towards the command ship. A few battle droids were burned or completely smashed from the energy of the explosion, and a few more were broken or knocked over by flying droid arms, legs, and heads. Grievous, whom was still on the bridge, watched as the assault rocket that was supposed to burst into a Republic cruiser, exploded in a firey burst into his own command ship. Even worse for Grievous and his fleet, the command ship had been equiped with 57 more assault rockets, which exploded and took out three nearby ships. Those ships, each having another assault rocket, exploded seven more ships. Every ship contained an assault rocket, and half of Grievous' magnificent fleet burned up in a crippling fire ball. Half of the remaining half had lost an engine or two, a bridge, turbolasers, or some other part making them unable to participate in combat. Now, Grievous, who had been so confident, was flying towards Kamino with one-fourth of a fleet, just because his bad cold had made the battle droid who gave orders to fire the missle hear him incorrectly.
Inside the Republic Fleet
It had just so happened that Grievous, who had been having even more coughing problems and headaches all day, was not the only one to have caught a cold. Since it's a bad idea for cyborgs to wash their hands, Grievous had been spreding germs all over the place. Battle droids, computers, ships and various other objects were home to a vast number of germs. Just recently, the Republic and the Seperatists were in battle on Ryloth. Grievous had been in charge of that attack too, and it just so happened that he caught his cold from a clone trooper during that attack. Grievous already coughed quite a lot, so even though he wasn't feeling the cold's effects yet, both blaster bolts and germs were flying through the air. 100 of the clone troopers at that battle each caught the same cold Grievous had. Unfortunately, these 100 clones didn't know they had a cold, so when they were traveling back to base they infected 1,000 more clones. Those 1,000 clones infected 10,000 more clones, and those 10,000 clones infected 100,000 more clones. This all added up to 111,100 infected clones, not including the 1,000 fleet officers that each caught colds. 112,100 Republic units were now sick, and some of the cruisers guarding Kamino were entirely infected. None of these clones were in the right condition to be navigating a cruiser, so when cruisers started bumping into each other as if they were in a game of Bumper Cruisers, which actually was a game onboard some of the ships, much dismay was caused in the Republic fleet.
Attack of the One-Fourth Fleet
Even though Grievous was sick and he now led one-fourth of a fleet, the attack on Kamino had to proceed. Darth Sidious had told Grievous that if he failed to capture Kamino again, he would have to do the hula for an upcoming Separatist festival.
"Grievous, do not fail me again. Next time I will make you do the hula during the Throw-Marshmallows-At-The-Jedi Festival and make a spectacle of yourself," Sidious had warned Grievous in a holographic message, trying unsuccessfully to sound serious and not laugh.
"Of course, Lord Sidious. My fleet *cough cough* will not fail again," Grievous replied worriedly.
Unbeknownst to either of them, however, the Republic fleet wasn't in much of a respectable condition either. No one who was on board the cruisers was in the condition to transmit a message back to Kamino, much less the Chancellor.
Grievous' dwindling fleet closed in for attack. In a bright red and blue flash of blaster bolts, both sides opened fire. Cruisers, frigates and the like broke apart and exploded in enormous orangish-yellowish blasts. BOOM, BOOM, CRASH! More and more ships went down as the sickly Republic troops and power-drained battle droids struggled to aim, sometimes hitting their own ships by mistake. Suddenly, the Separatist ships began to move straight into the Republic blockade.
CRUUUUUUUNCH! Four Republic cruisers blew up or broke apart in a massive, loud explosion as two Separatist command ships flew into them. A large hole was opened in the Republic defenses, perfect for the opposing fleet to get through. From the surface of Kamino, the sky lit up with a boom as if the non-existent Death Star had suddenly exploded. Back in the cosmic battlefield, the Republic cruisers zig-zagged to try to block the Separatist fleet from breaking through. They were too late, however, as the one-eighth remainder of the Separatist fleet burst through the weakened blockade. As transports landed on the surface, droids began their assault on the cloning facilities.